First days in Quebec

Happy Thanksgiving. I guess today is the official first day of my leave. It does not feel like it though. Being at my parents` house, spending time with friends that I have had for 18+ years who have been supportive the whole time, my wife being everywhere I go, I must admit this feels like pardise.
Let me rephrase that: the moments where people are there, it is like paradise. I have enough to distract them (and me) from any minor issue, such as crankiness, destructiveness, freshness (both the figure of speech and eh...how shall I say...bum wise). But this comes back to haunt you. Think about it: freshness, crankiness, destructiveness is diffused when you are with people. When you are alone, it gets magnified 10 times, as you have to look at it, deal with it and all the guilt and second guessing that goes with it.
I mean, I am pretty sure I am doing the right thing but I guess the second guessing is second nature to me (that redundancy was on purpose). I wish I had a little volume controller for my mind on these second guesses...and don`t believe one minute that the toddler does not know about all the doubt and guilt that comes with it. She is very versed on using it against me. Those tears really get me.
I am not saying Catherine is bad. I mean, she is the reincarnation of my dear, late "Memere" (ask my friends and family) but she does know how to tug on my heart strigs: the quivering lip, the well placed "I love you papa", etc. But she also knows when I am tired, cranky and how she can use it to her advantage. Call me paranoid, therapist friends, but I know what I know! The crooked little smile does it to me. Christina is a little young but she seems t place that cute little smile at the right time! I know why they are so cute in those hard moments.
So sleep is another challenge, which I briefly touched upon a blog ago...This is another thing that has been tough. We shall see how the next few days go but a word to the wise: 2 adults, 2 children under 3 in the same room to sleep = disaster!